i think i reached another possibility to why being casual didn’t feel right for me. it’s completely okay that i’m learning about myself and what i like but i think it’s just not fair that guys get to reap the benefits of my self-discovery without caring about me. it all seems very obvious but i think i had to learn it myself to actually realize it’s true.
9:44 pm • 31 January 2013 • 5 notes
when i went to denny’s with ray he ordered a glass of milk. it was cute.
12:02 am • 28 January 2013 • 1 note
i’m spending the night with a friend at MIT because my campus doesn’t open until tomorrow and all the mit students are in the hallway being loud and laughing and saying math jokes and it’s a little intimidating. i was going to spend the night at boston boy’s but when i asked him he said “are you going to make it worth it?” and that made me feel really gross with myself so i am not going to talk to him again, i think.
winter break at home was nice. i think i accidentally fell in love with all my guy friends though, just because i hadn’t been exposed to testosterone in such a long time. i did not sleep with anyone though, which is good. i don’t think i’m going to for awhile, perhaps in a “denial of pleasure” sort of way.
i’m going to start writing more again. at least here. just to sort things out.
10:06 pm • 25 January 2013 • 3 notes
i’m also latina though, its offensive that everyone thinks i’m only asian.
8:47 pm • 6 January 2013 • 2 notes
this is embarrassing but i figured i needed to write it out or something
1:32 am • 31 December 2012 • 2 notes
sad, older men are my type.
11:37 pm • 14 December 2012
i was thinking “i hope he’s one of those sad, introverted boys” because i’m very compatible with sad teenage boys but then i thought “no, i should not be dating sad guys anymore because i can’t ever help them, ever” and now i’m just thinking “whatever”.
really, whatever. i need to do homework.
2:21 pm • 26 November 2012 • 2 notes
i think i got myself into a date on okcupid with a 26 year old writer/ journalist from boston. he’s handsome but in that generic, beard and glasses and collared shirts way that every white, 20 something year old, “academic” bostonian is.
i told him that russian ark is playing at my college’s theater this sunday and he said “we should go, if you want. that’s a lovely, lovely movie”.
he also didn’t do any of those questions or profile filling out stuff, and when i told him this he said “i guess we’ll just have to talk”
he linked me to his blog and i suppose he’s already kinda a somebody. if anything i’m just networking. he better get me a job someday.
2:11 pm • 26 November 2012 • 3 notes